In Bruges
Warning, the following post contains extreme language. If you don’t know why, watch this trailer or just Ralph Fiennes‘ bits. Mum, just skip to the photos.
As soon as we got off the train, we realised Bruges is a shithole. I mean, if I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me. But I didn’t, so it doesn’t.
Bruges is famous for its beer & chocolate. But somehow our time balance tipped in the favour of culture. Like a big, fat, fucking retarded, fucking black girl on a see-saw, opposite… a dwarf.
Matt said Bruges wasn’t really his thing. But It’s a fairytale town, isn’t it? How’s a fairytale town not somebody’s fucking thing? But once we showed him the swans and the park he just fuckin’ loved it.
We went around on a boat, lookin’ at stuff. Apparently its called sight-seeing.
Pete wanted to go up the tower, but what’s the fucking point? The view? The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here. Anyway, as we tried to enter, the guy said it was closing. So Pete head- butted him and up we went. Those stairs get real narrow at the top.
Next day, we saw an American family about to go up.. We tried to warn them not to… Cause of the stairs… I mean.. I’m not being funny. They were a bunch of fucking elephants!
Nevertheless, we did make it to a pub or two, so I could order a gay beer for my gay friends. We also bought some chocolate which was fuckin’ great. But we had so much we wanted to hand some out to children, but that didn’t go down to well.
So yeah, Bruges is a shithole.
Maybe that’s what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges.
But its not all bad, they were filming midgets! We waved to one, but he didn’t wave back.
Little fuckin’ cunt.
